Documenting daydreams

Somewhere in between sleep and reality last night, I remembered a cow. Nice thoughts followed. I couldn’t convince myself that I would remember them in the morning, although I really tried, and so I wrote them down:

Writing, documenting, publishing. It’s a nice method to process life and an excellent way to remember the important things.

It’s funny how one of the scenes I remember most clearly from Haiti is the skinny cow from this post:

This cow was shared because I encountered her while being absolutely high on happiness. I get closer to that space just from remembering that overwhelming grateful feeling. I love you cow, I felt. And feel.

The essence of this entry?

When you realize that your spiritual cow guide probably is a bull, don’t miss the point. If you can find one reason to smile right now, don’t overthink it – just do it.

The original cow post.

June 27, 2019 1

Lapland holidays

When you’re living in the great north, country boundaries aren’t that big of a deal as in more populated areas. No matter if you live in the northern Norway, Finland, Sweden or Russia – you live behind the wall (you get it, if you’ve seen GOT). People up north share a lot of traditions and struggles, and there is a lot of border crossing going on. Which is why I didn’t think of going to Finnish Saariselkä yesterday as a big deal.

I didn’t take a single photo.

Whyyy, Ksenia?

._.

Saariselkä with it’s 350 inhabitants was pretty much as expected: Quiet, empty and moody. The rain was poring down most of the day with no sight of the midnight sun. The Acho-shop was closed.

Midsummer’s Day is a Holiday in Finland. So after a delicious dinner at the hotel, we found the only open bar “downtown”. Germany beat Sweden 2-1 in the World Cup, as we were drinking fresh blueberry shots with cream while kind of watching the game.

I really wish I had some proper photos to share from this trip (not counting the selfies or snaps on my iphone).

Recommendation: If you go to Finland you MUST drink Minttu Cacao with cream! It’s delicious.

Other things you probably should do in Finland – not in the midnight sun season, though ^^

June 25, 2018 0

Hello there, blog

Well.

It seems I’m starting yet another post with complains about how I don’t update you often enough. I’m pretty sure nobody in the whole world cares about why you have not been getting any new content for a while. Which is why this post is dedicated specifically to you, my outdated online journal.

What’s the point of having a blog in 2018 anyways?

You were created to be the place where I could showcase my photography and write about the stuff that matter. Now, all half decent pics go to Instagram, while I write about the “important stuff” as I my job. Which makes me want to forget everything about the existence of “important stuff” when my shift is done.

Perhaps it’s time to realize that my days of blogging are over? I want to lock the box.

Yet it feels like I would also be locking up my window to the internet world, the one outside the feeds and echo chambers of the social media where the people I know post their amazing vacation life and puppies. It’s through WordPress (and some odd forums) I have chatted with random people all over the world, read their everyday stories and thoughts, and felt that I’m a part of a global internet community. It looks like Facebook groups are the right place to seek that feeling now.

So what now, blog. Is it over for us?

As I write it, I realize that the surest way for me to keep up with an activity must be to determine that “I’m never doing that again”.

Stop entertaining the dream that one day I’ll become a real blogger who shares her thoughts and images on an everyday basis, making people laugh and cry and understand what life is all about? Never! (So what if my mom (and maybe my ex) are my steadiest followers?)

Even if my sketchy dream above doesn’t come true, at least I’ll have a random collection of online memories to flip through on hangover days. So we’re not doing the farewell scene after all, blog. ~~In fact, I promise to never write the “Ops, it’s been a while…” speech again~~ I will never work out ever again! No guilt! I will just not do it!!!

…

So I’ll jut go on rambling about nothing now and then, maybe share some photos from my last vacation some day. I bet you are looking forward to that!

– and maybe I’ll find a new blogger friend to exchange RAWs or do photo challenges with?

The promised vacation pic.

June 21, 2018 0

Refresh.

Hey there!

It’s been forever since my last post, and even longer since I started this blog. I haven’t changed very much though – and that’s quite frightening.

There have been changes in my life situation, that’s for sure. I’m no longer broke and unemployed. I found love. Then it broke. I’ve moved to a place some people would describe as «arctic wilderness». I live in Norway however, so there’s a limit to how wild it gets around here. I’m still a brat: In my late twenties and still unsatisfied with myself and my life, waiting for the next Monday to turn it all around.

I suspect I’ve had a mild depression for a while now. The winter blues came early this time. Then there’s the fact that winters last full eight months up here. I really shouldn’t complain, with all the privileges I have, but duuuuuude… It’s been dark.

I’m not sure when it happened, but I guess I have decided to empty my saving account. It’s not that huge (my years of full employment can easily be counted) and what are money for anyway? They bring me no pleasure slowly growing in the bank.

Which is why I have bought a camera and ticket to Kenya. I got four weeks off from work.

I need to fulfill some dreams.

Join me for the journey.

Ksenia

PS.

Today I upgraded to premium account.

Do you like my new theme?

April 14, 2018 2

The week couldn’t have started better

Oh, Irelaland!

Some brief days in Dublin visiting friends, and I already consider moving to the Green Island.

I came on a Monday and left on a Wednesday (barely, there were some trouble getting to the airport in time… due to TRAFFIC) with the best impression.

A couple vacation days, a journey and lots of hours chatting with your girlfriends – sometimes that is all you need to remember how to enjoy life.

I might have gotten a minor concussion too, on Tuesday night, while dancing.

You know those movies where the main character gets hit hard in the head and then develops some kind of power, like reading peoples minds? Or changes personality, forgets certain people or who they are themselves?

I haven’t figured out if got a super power along with the head bump. I chose to think some things cleared up when my scull and the floor connected though.

I’ve been thinking so much lately, about how to love myself more, and what I want to with my life, and how I can be happier. I’m not ready to put words on it yet, but I feel lighter.

Go to Dublin, maybe you will feel it too.

“There are two days in the week on which I never worry; one is yesterday and the other is tomorrow.”

Robert Jones Burdette 1844 – 1914

October 1, 2017 0

Bye-bye elections!

My last post probably gave a hint that I’m living through a troubled period in my life. I wrote it when I was very sad.

Then I didn’t write anything for a month, haha. After buying a premium plan – so much for serious goals like writing every day!

Instead I’ve been busy with moping and work.

Norway just had elections. And my foreign friends keep asking me: Who won?

zRr3lnx2EAcvB3J2o_sXzQAPO5XKtlwycl_eHPh7qLEQ — Work, work, work, work, work.

It’s hard to explain. If you ask ME (which you shouldn’t on this matter), I would say the electoral system of Norway is almost impossible to fathom.

So I’ll explain in as few words as possible (read The Guardian to understand more):

The left wing (red) got more votes, but the right wing (blue) won the election. The prime minister of the Right party, Erna Solberg, keeps her position for another term. She is choosing her ministers right now, in accordance with other parties who got a respectable amount of votes. The blue parties in the right wing got 88 seats in the parlament, and the red parties got 81 seats.

This might mean that the taxes will be lowered sometime during the next four years, we might see more privatization and Norway will probably continue to search for oil in the Arctic. All this might have happened anyways. The difference between the right and the left side is not always clear. Norway’s parties mostly place somewhere in the centre.

ENOUGH.ABOUT.POLITICS.

IT’S FRIDAY!

The first evening in the rest of my life 😉

September 15, 2017 0

When your heart is mourning

… what do you do?

I’ve been on a journey and I wanted to share that with you, tell you the story and show you my pictures of the magnificent North.

Instead, I got home to my lovely new apartment which I spent the whole Sunday decorating, and started crying.

In order to give me some helpful advice, I guess you should know why I’m crying my eyes out. The answer is good old heartbreak.

Why do you think I have a new apartment and moving in with Nina?

Today I realized I haven’t talked with my ex in two days. None of us called the other. I started thinking and the tears flowed.

My love, why couldn’t you just love me back, accepting me as I am?

I think I loved you like that. Now I’m just hurt, but I could fall back into it if you would just make some effort – maybe a little gesture, like inviting me to celebrate our two year anniversary even though a couple weeks have passed since the actual date.

2015-08-09 20.04.28-2 — Snapping approximately two years ago.

It’s stupid, right?

I feel stupid, and not at all like looking at the pictures from my journey. Guess which photos I’ve been searching up instead?

What I’m going to do now is… play some Candy Crush.

2-2015-10-04 10.54.50 HDR — Enter a caption. No, thanks.

August 17, 2017 0

Moving in with Nina

Houston, we have a problem. Our first roommate conflict is brewing.

But first, let me tell you about my new place.

I’m quite happy with the new place I’m moving into. It has everything I would want from my arctic home:

Look, a view of the fjord.

It’s within walking distance from work.

There is a shop nearby. (It didn’t necessarily need to be placed IN THE MIDDLE of the scenic view, but I have decided to look at the bright side.) This is perfect for those cold and dark months when you really don’t want to stay outside longer than you have to.

While you can enjoy the midnight sun the whole night through on the balcony in the summer.

I’m moving in with my BFF Nina and I think living together will be a lot of fun. We met when I moved north two years ago, and we haven’t ever run out of things to talk about yet. Whether the topic is everyday life, our body shapes, sex, work, philosophy and self-development, business plans, childhood in Russia, travel plans or youtube videos – we are always having a great time. There is only one problem.

This flat has two bedrooms. One gets a lot of light because it has two windows with a view of the fjord and the road. The other bedroom is smaller and stares right a wall.

We have tried not talking about this, but the moment has come.

We have received the keys to the place and it’s officially time to move in.

And choose rooms.

What do two clever girls do in this situation? We decide to let fortune decide (and that the person who get’s The Room will pay slightly more) and make a draw. Nina tries to feel her way to the paper promising the beautiful room.

Shit.

I just got lucky!

I wish you fortune and luck today, thanks for reading ❤

Continue reading “Moving in with Nina” →

August 8, 2017 1

On the move

There are changes happening, I’m on the move. I’ve packed my stuff and carried a countless amount of boxes up and down countless stairs. I’ve sorted through a lot of things I wasn’t even sure I owned before, I’ve thrown away stuff. That was hard for me.

And there is still a lot left.

For the seventh time in equally many years, I’ve told myself that this is the last time I move. Moving takes a lot of effort (if you like me have compulsively bought loads of cute, and absolutely useless, stuff over the years). Especially when you hate throwing things away, because you might just need that Hannah Montana wig you found in a forgotten corner of a box.

Will I ever get settled in?

Yes I will. Today.

You get a payed day free from work when you move in Norway, and my day is today.

As you see, I’ve gotten a lot stuff done already.

Wish me speedy unpacking!

August 4, 2017 0