2018 was obviously a turbulent year. Not that I was a very active blogger, but those times I actually posted something… it wasn’t very a bright input, in any way.
I’ve been struggling with motivation, love, self esteem and blah, blah, blah.
I don’t really want to focus that much on the bad stuff, or manifest that negativity into written words. The fact that my sad musings are excruciatingly embarrassing for me to read now, is partly the reason for my change of course.
I find myself thinking increasingly about how my thoughts, all-consuming as they often feel, actually matter very little.
It’s like waiting for a phone call from a romantic interest. As your head fills with worry about being undesirable and vague speculations about whether the belated caller experienced an accident, the person in question might very well be sleeping.
Giving into negative thinking leads to unhappiness, while positive thoughts pave the way to self-delusion and disappointment.
So I’m trying to think as little as possible. Stopping my train of thought as soon as I realize I unintentionally boarded it, I instead decide to do something which brings me satisfaction.
Light and carefree, that’s how I would like 2019 to be.
It has everything to do with this blog. Enough of tragic words. I’m still as moody and conflicted as most people, but I really want to focus on something else. The plan is to count my blessings and give every one the appreciation they deserve.
Without thinking too much.