Okey, be prepared for a long list concerning my goals for the next year! Why you should read this?
I have no idea!
Are you ever struggling with feeling happy?
If I write down a short overview of who I am and what I do for life, there is nothing to complain about. Yet, I’m not content. I felt this when I decided to move up north, and I carried this feeling with me.
Apparently happiness is really not about where or what you are. It’s about how much you manage to enjoy your life as it may be.
I’ve called this year my “final year” because for the third year in a row I’ll be at the same place, doing the same things – just like high school.
I want to change something during this year. It doesn’t mean that I will move south again (although I might – pretty much everyplace is south for me right now), or change my job (I really like my job), or go on the traveling-around-the-world-adventure I’m dreaming of (please dear God, let this happen). But it means that I will figure things out: I will feel happy and I will know what I wish to do with my life further.
I believe that when you are happy and moving in tune withe the universe, good things come to you. Because you are open for new impulses and at the same time full of energy to follow up on opportunities, life becomes more fun, and you become even happier. It’s like a good circle.
If you have any good advises for me on how I can start cultivating happiness inside me, I welcome them in the comments below. So far, I’ve come up with these realizations myself:
1. I must love myself, said Captain Obvious.
If I love someone, I give them I lot of attention. I think this means I should give myself a lot of attention. The best way to do that would for me be to treat myself healthy foods, work out and look after my appearance. Something in me screams that this is a shallow goal, but f*** that Something. When the skin of my face is soft because of some serum and my bum is tight after squats, I feel good.
As I type this, I look at my nails. They are kind of embarrassing. Almost two weeks have passed since I fixed them up all emerald and shiny for a Sami wedding. Then I kind of forgot about them until today, when a shop attendant checked out the flaky green polish remains when I payed at the register earlier.
There shall be no more of that. Starting today! (as soon as I remove the green from my nails.) Sit-ups, apples and body lotion, we shall be good friends from now on!
2. It’s time for self-discovery and meditation.
How weird. When I was a teenager I was constantly preoccupied with defining myself. I would tell people: I’m the kind of person who… And I would feel very sure about my strengths and weaknesses. I had certain dreams and I felt strongly about them. I was generally unhappy all the time, in that angsty teenage-y way, but that’s another story. The point is that I think I’ve outgrown the definition I made for myself once upon a time. Even though it has been adjusted over the years, it just doesn’t fit anymore.
I’m confused and naked without this armor. Who am I then, what are my dreams – and does any of it even matter when it comes to just being (happy)? This is what I need to find out. So I’ll be rereading Osho and checking out some of those self-development books online. And I will pick up meditating regularly. Because apparently, you can meditate doing anything, any time!
3. I shall find an adventure!
I remember spending all my free time on my hobbies, drawing, reading and writing.
Adults around me would ask me to do something meaningful with my time. They did not consider drawing and reading meaningful, perhaps because I was doing it in math classes. But at least I was spending my time doing something I loved, and I had about 100 selfmade comic books to show for it (not to mention knowing the stories of a thousand and some fantasy and romance books – I was reading a lot).
While now I have no idea where my time goes. After work I just… stare at my phone and eat. Day finished. I do have exciting days too, but that is not the routine.
I love traveling, exploring new places, meeting people and photography. I dream of combining my passions and making a lifestyle out of it. I’m already a journalist, so it shouldn’t be very hard, right?
Two issues are stopping me. I lack money and bravery, the last one being the bigger problem. Some people explore the world with only a backpack and their social skills.
I’m not one of those people. I would like to bring a very expensive camera (which I don’t own yet) on the journey with me. I need to do research and make some plans and set out to a destination or a goal, and I want to create something.
I would very much like to make a photobook, or write a fiction novel, make a movie, or have a blog (haha, check! At least I’m doing something) or something like that.
I’m struggling to summarize this goal. Get brave? Get a backpack?
Everything is not clear yet, but during this “final year” I will find a creative project that will give a slightly new direction to my life. I will do more of the things I love and less of the things I can’t remember later. Traveling makes my life meaningful, so I will definitely travel more.
I will meditate, treat myself well and be happy.
The rest will come 🙂
- Phew. It felt good to write it down!